The first visible success of the week:
ME: “Please don’t forget to put your lunch bag on the counter”.
My 5 year old: “I know, I know!!….. but thank you for reminding me Mommy”
Last night was our 2nd family meeting. After we put our youngest to bed, we brought our son down to the dining room and had a family talk about how our week went. We went through our “family rules” again had an active discussion with how the week went. It was a very productive conversation and I think he really appreciated that both Mike and I admitted to our faults this week as well. We also discussed our goals and set new ones for this week.
Overall, I do believe we had a very successful week. There was no yelling, we practiced time-ins rather than time-outs and everyone followed their chore chart. We also ate more meals together and spent more time together as a family. We have some kinks to work out for sure but for our first week, I am very proud of my family… and myself!
We did get to try the new Time-In method on our son twice this week. Both times I was shocked with how successful they were. We cuddled together, had a chat about the behaviour and then I left him to gather his emotions & thoughts and he was able to rejoin the family when he felt he was ready. I must admit though, it takes a lot more work. A time-out was very easy – I would just say “go to time-out” and he’d go and I’d look at the clock and then call him back 5 minutes later. With our time-ins, I had to actively stop what I was doing and go with him to his spot, sit with him and talk. At first, I was slightly annoyed that I had to stop what I was doing but then as we sat there chatting, I realized that I wouldn’t trade anything in the world for cuddling with him listening to his thoughts and feelings. You really do gain a little more understanding into what triggered the behaviour when you spend time listening to what they have to say instead of shunning them off to a corner somewhere.
I feel like my family is on track to get where we need to be. Now to concentrate on me… more to come about that next time.