“April is a working mom and wife to a stay at home hubby who cares for their 3 year old son. One of her goals in life is to make being mom one of her greatest success stories.”
Let’s face it; we all have endless amounts of things to do. Whether we are stay-at-home moms or work outside of the home, there is never an empty list. I think it is tough in either situation to find the fine line between spending enough QUALITY time (I’m striving to define this exactly…) with our children and getting the remainder of tasks on our lists tackled.
I’ve been back to work since my son was 6 months (he was 3 in January) and my husband has been a stay at home dad since (and a pretty awesome stay at home Dad). I am the mom who brings him everywhere with me and registers him in a ton of fun things, can’t wait to get home from work each day to see him, and am always planning special things for us to do as a family or even just the two of us. I am lucky that I start work really early before they get up so I am home early in the afternoon (by 2:30pm) and I get a lot of time with my son (and husband) who doesn’t drift off ’til 9pm or so (and rarely naps…but that’s a different story!). However, I still feel guilty as if we still don’t spend enough QUALITY time together and I’m really not sure what the definition of QUALITY is? We do craft courses together or at home (although my hubby has been quite the craft guru as of late), play outside every day for several hours, have play dates, watch Tangled or play cars, visit any of the 11 living grandparents he’s lucky to have, but sometimes the time we spend together also includes as I make dinner, throw in a load of laundry, clean the litter, or am trying to rearrange the bathroom. I also find that a lot of these activities, play dates and outside time for example, now involve just watching him play as he gains his independence and plays with his many friends, although I am, always there if he, or any of the kids, should need me. I frequently let him help with the lesser of these tasks as he seems to think they are exciting (and I’m taking advantage of when he does think folding laundry is fun, I’m sure it won’t last!), but I feel bad that we’re doing these things, even though they have to be done. I realize that this is likely teaching him good values too, that we should strive to live in a neat & tidy house, laundry needs to be done, etc., etc., but I still can’t help but feeling guilty, I really want to give my son everything and do things just right as a parent.
How do we define QUALITY, just spending time together, or does it matter what we are doing? What is the happy mix of fun and chores? Do you feel you get enough time with your kids? Do we ever not feel guilty as a parent even if we’re already giving them all that we can? Do we always just want to give them more?