While husbands can be so strong in many areas, it has been shown that testosterone causes some unfortunate side effects. As patient and understanding women, we know that certain tasks that seem so easy to us can be quite the challenge for men. I do not blame them as this is obviously not their fault, however, I am a believer in education. When introduced at a slower pace, husbands can learn how to perform many new tasks at a satisfactory level.
I am thrilled to announce the introduction of my new course, Dishwasher 101. Created specifically for husbands, this course covers many of the mind-boggling aspects of how to handle the dishwasher when there is no woman nearby to assist. This course will give men the confidence and added freedom to be able to do this on their own and with the support of their spouse, they will soon be on their way to cleaner dishes and a happier home.
Below is an overview of the course material:
This module will cover how to use an implement such as a fork or knife to gently scrape off any food remaining on a plate. The importance of this step will be stressed and there will be reference to the portion of the dishwasher instruction manual that (clearly) states food left on dishes can cause a clog.
This part of the course will concentrate on the skill of using the sink to rinse anything remaining on the dish from Module 1. There will be an emphasis on how to soak any pots, pans or other dishes that are not yet fit for the dishwasher. Discussion topics will also include proper use of water temperature and dish soap.
50% of the course mark will be based on this module. This section will begin with basic 10 piece puzzles to build the initial skills required to load a dishwasher. From there, the course will move onto more difficult puzzles (20 – 30 pieces) and finally, the skills will be transferred to the actual dishwasher with real dishes. Students will practice techniques such as dish placement for optimal use of space. There will be discussion on what belongs on the top rack vs. the bottom. Depending on the model of dishwasher in the home, there will also be an extra credit assignment on why the open space where the spray arm extends (or spins) cannot be covered or blocked.
This module will simply be a short overview as we find most men are quite good at grasping the concept of how to load soap and start the machine. There will be a short power point presentation going over some basic differences between the Normal settings and the Pots & Pans settings and when it is appropriate to use them. A short discussion on best time of day to run the machine for optimal power cost and how long it will need to be started prior to company coming over.
The 5th and final module is a written repetition assignment. Students will be given several sentences to write and memorize for the exam. Statement such as “The dishwasher does not unload itself” and “Washing by hand is the only way to clean dishes that could not go into the dishwasher”. New this term, we have added two new sentences based on feedback from spouses: “The drain-strainer must be cleaned out after rinsing” and “I am not allowed to tell my spouse that she should ‘just do it herself’ just because I don’t want to follow the teachings of this course”.
As this is a distance education course, the exam will need to be performed in an actual kitchen with an approved Proctor (spouse, mother or other suitable woman). Men who have previously completed this course may apply to be proctor for a friend or family member, with the written recommendation and consent of the woman who sponsored them in their original course. The exam will require the man to, unassisted, perform all of the steps, in order, to properly prepare, load, run and unload the dishwasher. Upon suitable completion of the task, they will then complete the short written portion and then present their sponsor with a gift (flowers or chocolate is the only acceptable gift). Men will be required to receive 100% on their exam to pass, or they will be required to retake the entire course.
Upon successful completion of the course, men should be given much praise, along with a treat such as cookies or beer. This will help reinforce the behaviour.